what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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