in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
