She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
