I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
