If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
