I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
