I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
