called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
