I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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