I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just puked most of my soul out..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
