I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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