I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
