Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
