p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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