Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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