i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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