Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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