I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
