"it" just moved
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
