SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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