:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
