His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
