as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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