I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
