I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
