it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
