I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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