found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
