My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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