i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
