I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
