how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
