Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
