went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
