She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
