Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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