handjob tips. give me some.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
