I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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