She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
