You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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