i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
