Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He has the fingertips of a God
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
