sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
