Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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