..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
