I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
