where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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