WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
