sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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