Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you will always have a special place in my vag
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
